A Stronger Passion
by Marant
Summary: "After all, Emily Starr, I believe pride is a stronger passion with you than love."


A/N: An alternate ending to "Emily's Quest." I'm not overly fond of the idea of Emily ending up with Perry, but I *had* to know what would happen if they did. :D

A Stronger Passion

"_You ought to be in bed, that's a fact," agreed Perry. "I'm a beast to be keeping you up. But when I come here it seems so much like old times I never want to go. What a set of shavers we were! And now Ilse and Teddy are going to be married. We're getting on a bit."_

"_Next thing you'll be a staid old married man yourself, Perry," said Emily, trying to smile. "I've been hearing things."_

"_Not on your life! I've given up that idea for good. Not that I'm pining after you yet in particular—only nobody has any flavour after you. I've tried. I'm doomed to die a bachelor. They tell me it's an easy death. But I've got a few ambitions by the tail and I'm not kicking about life. Bye-bye, dear. I'll see you at the wedding."_

"Good bye." Finally!—she could be alone and revel in the sweetness of Mrs. Kent's revelation about Teddy and begin to piece together her self-respect, which had been wrenched apart in these last few years. But her revels were interrupted again by Perry, who had turned back suddenly, not wanting to say goodbye—somehow Emily was different tonight—she seemed brighter—more _incandescent_—and how pretty that flower looked against her hair! Perry admitted to himself that he had to have her. His smooth-talking lawyer speak had taken him far in his career and had nearly even convinced himself that he was over her, but something about that enchanted old New Moon garden and the inescapable peace he felt positively _radiating_ off of her shot straight through his years of denial and his true feelings resurfaced.

"You know, Emily," he began—her uncanny purple eyes widened as he sat by her again—"When we were little, Teddy always used to say that you would marry him when we grew up, and it riled me up good every time. But I guess old Ted was wrong after all."

Something like a gasp escaped Emily's lips. She was desperately attempting not to betray her true feelings to Perry—never mind that she had done Ilse's—but unlike in the past, this time she did not feel insult along with the regret. A burden seemed to lift from her heart at this alteration in her attitude. Mrs. Kent was right; perhaps the Murray pride was a stronger passion in her than love. She nearly smiled.

Perry, upon seeing this, was encouraged to continue. "You always used to say that the four of us were a talented crowd, and I used to think you were a brick for saying that, with me being Stovepipe Town and all. And you were right! Ilse's a gad-talented elocutionist, Teddy's a famous painter—"

"_Artist_," corrected Emily.

"Artist," Perry consented with a grin, feeling a pang of familiar affection for her—she was the only one he didn't mind correcting him—"and you're an eminent writer. I knew it as soon as I finished reading _The Moral of the Rose_."

"You read my novel! Why, Perry, I didn't know that you had the time."

"It took me a while. The firm keeps me busy. But I read snatches of it here and there, and before I knew it a whole year had gone by before I finally reached the last page. And you know what; I finally understood why you said I could never write poetry. I would always feel affronted—I could make things rhyme just as well as you could—but after I read your novel I was floored. There's magic going on in that adorable little head of yours. It—" here he paused to gulp, before gathering courage and proceeding—"it made me admire you even more, Emily."

Emily glanced sideways at Perry, who might have been blushing. It was difficult to tell in the moonlight. Was this self-possessed, tender man the same effusive little boy who had once declared that he would "knock the daylights out of Great-Aunt Nancy"? And he had read her novel! The compliment did not fall on deaf ears. Emily knew just how valuable Perry's time was, and to know that he had carved some out every day for the last year to devote to her and her ambitions was flattering indeed. She felt herself coloring at the thought. "Don't forget the fourth member of the crowd. You'll be Premier yet."

Perry laughed. "You always believed in me. That's part of the reason why I got this far. I wanted to make something of myself because of _you_. When I realized that there was no more hoping that you'd be mine, wanting to be successful sorter became habit. But after reading _Moral of the Rose_, and hearing about Ilse and Teddy, and seeing you here tonight in your old garden and basking in your loveliness—do you know, Emily, that you seem serene tonight? I haven't seen you this way in ages—I'm feeling things that I promised myself I'd never feel again." He took her hand.

"After you broke it off with Dean, remember how I came to ask you again to promise to marry me someday? And remember how you sent me packing?"

She remembered each one of his proposals, of course. They were hardly instances that one could forget easily. "I do," she said.

"I called you a proud monkey as soon as I left New Moon that night. In my defense, you _were_, but you were right to refuse me all those times. I only wanted you because you were a Murray, and you were pretty and kind to me to boot. But now, Emily, I want to marry you because you're—you're a brick! You're clever and talented, and you make me feel like a million dollars, and there's kind of a mystery to you that I find irresistible. You don't make me believe in fairies, but you don't make me scoff at the idea as I would normally. And now it doesn't matter to me a lick whether or not you were a Murray. Does that make any sense? We make each other happy, don't we, dear?"

"We do," she whispered.

"And I think that with time, we can grow to love each other. Well, I already have a lot of practice being in love with you, so I guess ultimately it's mostly work on your end. There I go ruining the romance of everything. It's the Stovepipe Town in me; I can't quite suppress it at the most inopportune moments. Here, give me your other hand. Will you marry me, Emily Starr of New Moon?"

Emily's immediate reflex to Perry's proposals was to refuse them at once. How did she find herself hesitating this time? She faltered under his steady gaze. Dependable Perry, never far off, so forthright with his feelings—how different from Teddy he was! And yet how dear he was to her. She didn't draw away her hands from his, relishing how confidently they enveloped her own.

Oh, life was not as _unlivable_ as it had been just a few hours ago. She knew that Teddy had loved her—she _knew_. A part of her soul, which had been so frenzied over these last few years, was finally tranquil. She loved Teddy still—she belonged to him—she always would—but the constant wounding to her pride at the thought of her love unrequited was no longer there. She felt her dignity rejuvenating slowly, like the sunlight leisurely spilling over the earth at the start of a new day.

There was no doubt that Perry was delightful company. She would be lucky to have him, even if she was a Murray. He wouldn't be settling for her—and she liked him enough to want to stay happy around him. After all, he was the only constant in her life. He had stayed with her through thick and thin. She chased rainbows with Teddy, but Perry was the one who rescued her from bulls when she became distracted on her quest—how many steps had she climbed on the Alpine Path thanks to that secondhand typewriter he had picked for her out of his own thoughtfulness?

And Ilse wouldn't mind. She was "over" Perry. Ilse had Teddy.

Emily glanced down—her lashes had a maddening effect on Perry, who squeezed her hands tighter—and smiled. "Yes."

Perry gave a sound somewhere between a whoop and a yell and gathered her in his arms. "You little goose!" he cried, "You finally said yes! I can't believe my ears. Is this really happening, Emily? I'm going to kiss you now before you change your mind." He closed his eyes and bent forward, but then quickly drew away.

Although Perry was not Emily's first choice, she knew she was his, and was thus annoyed when he pulled back. "What happened?"

"Oh, I was afraid that I'd be cornered again by one of your aunts in a nightgown. That was fun and fine the first time around, but not now," he explained with a straight face.

Emily's laugh rang true—how nice it was to laugh like this again!—and this time, Perry was successful in his embrace, with no interruptions from older candle-wielding Murrays.

x x x

They kept it a secret until after Teddy and Ilse were married, and when Perry applied to Aunt Elizabeth and Aunt Laura, they consented (although with some internal difficulty). When the newly minted Mr. and Mrs. Kent were informed of the engagement, Emily didn't disregard the queer looks that both of them wore on their faces.

Emily felt her spirits lightening during Perry's more frequent visits to New Moon, but unable to wrangle with the guilt of keeping her secret, she told him about her and Teddy a few weeks later.

Perry was blessedly pragmatic. "Well I knew about _his_ feelings, but I had no idea that you felt the same way. Why, Emily, I could knock his block off! He treated you sourly and you responded to it in just the right way. You were right to tell me, but it doesn't bother me in the least. Teddy is married to Ilse which means that he's no longer my rival. And if he hadn't been so foolish, I never would have gotten you. I promise I'll make you happy, Emily."

He did.


End file.
